Lone Star Highway

Ewwwww. It's a dreadful story. I read about the first 20 pages and wanted to take a shower. Don't bother......

This books is tagged under humor, humorous and laugh and cry. I'm sorry, but I don't find the humor in suicide or the aftermath a family goes through. This was definitely not what I expected the book to be. I got about 5% into it and quit. Just FYI, it's not a "humorous" book. Buyer beware.

im stunned by the reviews!
this was a contender for worst book ive ever read.
the writing style was mundane and tedious and the characters were painful to come across.
the only good thing i got from it was that i will not download books to my kindle just because they are free.
in fairness to the author it was in a similar vein to "one day" and that pile of nonsense sold millions.

This book is complete dross. It's written like a 14 year old boy's late English essay and feels like its received as much attention from the writer. It's no wonder people worry about the future of the written word when books like this are given the time of day. Garbage.

A friend of mine is about to have her first book published and, while excited, one of the things she’s most nervous about is the prospect of getting the inevitable ‘bad’ reviews. And they are inevitable.

Whenever we discuss it, she gets all trepidatious and I get all hahahahahaha. I love one-starrers, they’re brilliant. The four above are my definite favourites (although that last one was a two-star, in the interests of full disclosure).

I’ve been lucky enough to receive a fair few positive reviews to counterbalance these beauties, and I imagine that if I only received reviews like this it would make me have a serious think about this writing lark, just as it should.

If the majority of reviews say that you’re a pile of shite and should never be allowed near a keyboard without adult supervision and an active adjective filter then yes, you may have something to consider with regards to the wisdom of inflicting your hobby on the public, absolutely. That doesn’t mean you should give up your hobby, of course. Just maybe keep it to yourself for a while longer.   

However, even the most stunningly adequate offerings (which is the best most of us can hope for, let’s face it) are going to eventually find readers who would find it preferable if we’d had our fingers bitten off by a rabid priest in early childhood rather than remain digit-endowed until we learned to type. To them, we really are that bad.

And that’s the thing. They’re not lying; they’re not evil; they’re not on a one I-fucking-hate-you-personally-so-much-that-I-want-to-destroy-your-dreams person mission. They’re not even thick, or illiterate, or, you know, daft. They just didn't like it, that’s all.

That’s okay.

I hate all sorts of things that other people like or find value in. Football, religion, Simon Cowell, haggis, mornings, that smell Jake makes sometimes, doing dishes, mornings, seafood, Tories, people who pretend not to be Tories but really are, prevailing economic theory, mornings, reality anything, people who pretend not to be Nazis but really are, bus fares, conversation, advert breaks, jazz (shudder), working, changing guitar strings, mornings, small talk, not having a dishwasher, exercise, Hollyoaks, people with energy, people with enthusiasm, people generally, oven chips.

I’d give every one of those things a fucking terrible review if I was of a mind to. It just so happens that Amazon doesn’t have such a facility and I don’t have the desire to express my hatred all that much.

And lots of people would disagree. It’s one of life’s wonders. We can all disagree like fuck about stuff and still not kill each other with bombs and knives and readily available guns etc. If we so choose.

I’m choosing to make a stand, here and now. I promise I will not stab Simon Cowell in the eye with a bomb made of guns, just because he’s a cunt. I forgive him.

There. Sorted.

Be still.